TSLS 0028 - My personal approach to overcoming overwhelm (and how it saves my ass every time)
I used to get super anxious or feel guilty at times about not doing things "the industry" has said I should be doing in order to "succeed".
I should be doing more webinars. And more facebook advertising. No, twitter. Instagram? And bigger, more exciting launches and guest posts and interviews and newsletters and and and...
I could inherently see the value in these things and knew that they would be beneficial, but there was just one problem.
I didn't actually want to do them.
Every time I would even think about doing them, my whole body tensed up. I'd stare at papers and plans for hours and just couldn't bring yourself to make it work. Or to even start. The thought of doing certain things just for the sake of “more success” bored the HELL out of me.
Do you ever feel like this? You tell yourself you'll do it eventually, and have made plans to do it, but still just…haven't? There's a reason for that. And it's not because you're lazy. It's simply because you don't want to.
It isn't a strength of yours.
It isn't an interest.
It isn't a priority.
So we can only do one of two things in this situation: we can either make it a priority and stop allowing it to torture us...or we can:
Throw it out the window and see how it feels.
Having these huge things on your mind and doing nothing about them has a larger effect on your mindset and neurological health than you actually realise.
It's called The Zeigarnik Effect, and it means that it’s hard to move forward or even perform effectively when you still have "that thing" at the back of your mind, plaguing you with guilt because you haven't done it yet.
It's time to move forward.
I'm doing this at the moment. I wanted to do guest posting at least once a week because it's obviously the thing to do in order to promote myself. I love connecting with people, I love writing, what could go wrong, right? On paper it seemed fine, but when it came down to it, the thought of force-writing another post each and every week, plus pitching just suddenly felt too much on top of everything else I do weekly. It took me a while to admit it to myself and I kept putting it off in the form of excuses and complaints. For example:
"Ugh, I don't like the idea of being forced to do stuff."
"I hate when I have to do things on a schedule."
"Pitching to so many different people each week is going to be time consuming and confusing."
"I don't have a good system to keep track of pitches."
"I'll have to hold back articles that I'll just want to share on my own blog."
"I don't even know where to start." << this is a big one. I can guarantee you do, you just don't want to.
I also recently threw an idea to create a new course idea out of the window which had held me back for weeks (because I was forcing monetisation when my soul just wanted to give it away for free.)
When your body, mind and soul say "ugh", listen.
Now, let me tell you the best thing about this. When you throw shit out of the window, it honestly creates so much room for your strengths. Because you know what happened immediately after I let go of these things I was trying to force myself to do? My mind went:
"Ahhh, great! Now I can focus on what I REALLY want to do."
For me, that's focusing on the people I already have and empowering them to share the message. I want to invite people into my world in my own way. I'm a flaky transgressive artist, I don't like to be on any schedules. Sure, it may take longer for me to gain awareness for my movement, but it will feel one hundred times better to do it the way I want to.
Does that mean I will never guest post? Not at all. But at this time, that idea is out the window - because subconsciously it was in the way of how I really wanted to do things.
So here is my lesson to you: Listen to your own intuition, and even if something seems like the best method but you don't want to do it, it isn't the best method for you. (In fact, if that's the case, chances are it won't work for you anyway.)
You don't have to do all the things you could possibly do. I promise you that.
You always have permission to let go of the things you don't love.
So throw it out the window.
See how you feel.
Over to you:
What do you need to throw out the window today? Let me know in the comments below!