I’ve ALWAYS loved to write.
When I was younger I’d write every single day, without fail, about anything and everything. I’d write songs, short stories, poems, novels and embarrassing diary entries. I’d write stories for my friends as birthday presents. I infused every part of my life with my love of writing.
You’d always find me underneath a stack of books, too. My favourites were R.L. Stines’ Goosebumps Series (I had a weekly subscription where they'd post a new book to my house every week) and The Darren Shan Saga.
I was whole then.
But there comes a point in every creative person’s life where the world comes along, reaches out, and snatches your confidence away piece by piece until you aren’t so whole anymore.
Then came the time in my life where, if I wasn't fighting my own insecurities, I was fighting all the insecurities of others. The look you get from my career counsellor at school when I told them I wanted to work in the creative industries. Or the worry in my parent’s eyes (that they desperately try to hide) when I told them I wanted to write books — the look that said “I hope it's just a phase and she gets more realistic in time!”
All of these things mounted up, and I started really questioning myself. I was thinking, maybe I can’t make a living from being creative.
I guess this isn’t something that people can really achieve? Is everyone else right and I'm wrong?
It got so bad that one night, I'd been staring at the screen for hours with my hands suspended over the keyboard for two hours, and absolutely nothing had come out.
In my head I had all my own questions and concerns, but then I also had other people's comments reverberating through my head: telling me that writing wasn’t a “real” career, that it wasn’t something I would be able to make anything out of, that I was fighting an uphill battle I probably wouldn’t win and that I should probably do something else.
Having people tell me to give it up was like telling me I was worthless and didn’t have a place in this world.
And that also brought about the bigger problem: if I couldn't make it as a writer, what else did I have to give to the world? Because God knows, I was pretty terrible at almost everything else.
I was a "wholewriter" through and through.
(Now, write this down ladies and gentlemen, because you’re going to hear me say this A LOT throughout these episodes.)
#Wholewriter is a term I coined in my book, The Authorship Program®, for the person inside of you who is not afraid; The person who will hunger and strive toward creativity forever because they know that writing, or teaching or sharing is your destiny – or at least, you believe it to be.
If there’s a #wholewriter inside you, giving up isn’t an option.
When I thought about the life I'd have to live if I gave into my fears and gave up writing, I couldn't BREATHE.
I had to figure out a solution or I wouldn't have survived.
I didn't want to feel that way.
I knew, I could either sit there and let the fears get the best of me, or I could psych myself up, and find a way to ensure that I NEVER felt so helpless or dis-empowered ever again!
So as I sat in front of that keyboard, flexing my fingers, willing something - anything - to come out onto the keyboard, I had an important revelation. And this revelation I’ve used to transform my entire creative life, and it’s the thing that might change yours right now. I hope you're ready for it, because here it comes...
Through all of my self-doubt, even in my darkest moments...
Nothing about my ability had changed.
The rate I could produce work didn't change.
Nothing changed except the way I felt, and that changed everything.
If that was all that had changed, I could find a way to change it back.
That was the break I needed because suddenly, just as fast as the words had cut out in my brain was how fast they came streaming out through my fingertips again and haven’t stopped since.
From that day onward, I pulled my consciousness (kicking and screaming), through its own journey of self-transformation that freed me from fear and finally allowed me to reconnect with my wholewriter, write over 160 stories, poems and plays, win national awards and feel confident and fulfilled in my work every single day.
What I produced then also became my guiding philosophy for everything I now stand for - the comprehensive, step-by-step guide to removing the mental, emotional and spiritual barriers I know are preventing you from leading the life you were born to lead.
And THAT is what this blog and podcast will be about.
I know that all it takes is the decision to begin for you to start changing your life.
The decision to move past the haters, the naysayers, and all the other stuff holding you down right now. I teach from intensely personal experience, having gone through all of this myself, which is why I know:
Your emotional state can always be changed.
You can always find your way back to wholeness.
And I’m going to show you how.Read More