Posts tagged Self-Care
TSLS 0035 - You're way closer to becoming your "best self" than you think.

We as human beings strive so hard to succeed.

I know I’ve worked day and night on a goal without coming up for air for months in the past - but I never realised how crazy it looked until I saw my other friends doing the same. Constantly changing and updating things that didn't need to be updated. Fixing things about themselves that didn't need to be fixed. Pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion and burnout. It’s too much!

But we really don't need to stress out so much. It's gotten to the point where we all need to relaaaax.

We expect too much of ourselves, and I'd like to propose a change. Because here's what you should know:

Your best self isn't the impossible standard you hold yourself to in your dreams —

It's how you show up in the every day

I promise you this: no singular accomplishment, no matter how badly you want it, will ever make you say: 

"Great! I've finally reached my greatest potential."

The goal posts from The Universe shift, and you'd soon find another goal to attach your self-worth to. So that's not what it's all about. It's not about goals, it's not about what you want, it's about who you are and what you're doing with your life in the everyday moments.

  • Your best self is not the person on the bestseller list - they are the person who wrote a page today, even when they didn’t want to.

  • Your best self isn’t the person who “needs” to lose thirty pounds - they are the person who chose to buy gluten-free desserts instead of defaulting to donuts.

  • Your best self isn't the person on a writer's panel, they are the person who works 9-5 but is still fighting hard every weekend for their dream.

Don’t force yourself forward all the time, because all that does is stop you from appreciating the now.

In this moment, you have all you have been and all you will be inside of you. In this moment, you have it all.

So you don't have to bully yourself into doing more, or throw yourself desperately at whatever it is you think is "success". You're on an important journey right now, and the most important thing is that you fully live every moment.

Success isn't attached to a single, tangible achievement or object. 

It's in how you feel and what you do.

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TSLS 0025 - Stop struggling, start thriving: A quick ten-minute guide to turning your writing day around

Are you struggling to finish, edit, promote or sell your creative project?

Trick question - the answer is no. You are NOT struggling.

"Struggle" is a hideous word that teaches you to feel helpless about yourself, it stems from an inaccurate, limiting belief that is blocking gratitude in your life. Nothing good ever comes from the word "struggle":

@@The word struggle is the arch-nemesis of abundance.@@ 

I can guarantee that 90% of the times you've used the word, it wasn't necessary. It's just a negative condition for your mind to attach itself to in times of stress, and doesn't better the situation in any way. What it does is just teaches your mind to despair, and surrender. 

There are so many other ways to describe your situation which won't create negative conditions in your mind, and won't bring you down. Sure, you might not be achieving the results you want right now, but you're not struggling - you're manifesting, preparing, creating, strategising, recalibrating, pivoting, transforming, transitioning, working.

Instead of: “I’m struggling to make ends meet” try, "There's no limit to the amount I can earn today."

Instead of: “I’m struggling to find a character name” try, "I have all the time I need to discover the perfect character name."

Instead of: “I’m struggling to find an agent for my book.” try, "I get closer to finding an incredible agent every single day."

Instead of: "I'm struggling to..." try, "I EXPECT to..."

Stop struggling, start manifesting.

@@I expect to change. I expect to receive. I expect to manifest.@@

Change your word from "struggling" to literally anything else, and I promise you'll feel better about yourself and the situation.

You might even unlock your brain and figure out a solution, simply because you're giving your brain the option to think in a completely different way. Radical. Banana. If you raise your expectations, your enthusiasm, your commitment and your intentions around the thing you want most from your creative career, The Universe has no other choice but to rise up and match the energy you're bringing to the situation.

Then, once you've generated the energy, you need to take action.

You manifest abundance by expecting good things from yourself and the universe, then stepping up to meet them.

Action is what closes the deal. Do what you think it would take to achieve the goal or dream that you want. Give yourself to something, in the true spirit of abundance. Believe that whatever you do will come back to you in tenfold...

And then, be ready.

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TSLS 0019 - Introducing The #Wholewriter Movement

Inside each and every writer who has ever been afraid to spread their message or use their voice...

Every writer who has grown terrified of what people think, or how they are perceived; who has ever received abuse for their art, or has ever failed, or has ever felt like giving up...

Inside each and every writer who has experienced these things, is a #wholewriter.

I'm talking about the person inside you who is not afraid. 

The inside you, somewhere, who is still a dreamer, a romantic, and who is still creative as ever. And who has never been harmed by criticism or negativity from others or from your own troubled thoughts. A person who is strong, and confident, and perfect. This person is just waiting for the day you realise that staying small isn't doing you any favours. 

This person is lying dormant under the weight of your fear and your insecurities, but it's easy to reconnect with them if you're willing to do so.

This is the movement:

The #Wholewriter Movement is an open conversation on social media dedicated to developing the next generation of writers through empowerment, advocating self-care & ending creative shame.

THERE IS A #WHOLEWRITER INSIDE YOU WHO IS NOT AFRAID. Welcome to the movement.

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TSLS 0004 - The secret to writing well is feeling well.

Do you know what is one of the most common ways writer mess up their creative mojo?

They spend way too much time daydreaming about how good they‘ll feel and what will happen after they finish writing their book.

And for sure, you will feel amazing once you finish your book or your latest project — but being laser-focused on the future tends to just drain the happiness from the present. Because here’s what happens: 

The more you think about how much you want to be a best selling author and you can’t wait, the further and further away it can seem when you’re trying to get all the smaller tasks done every day. You get frustrated and overwhelmed.

Your worth becomes more and more connected to this idea of success, and that causes more harm to you than good. And this creates the biggest problem you’ll face in your writing life: not feeling good about the work anymore.

So you’re probably thinking I will say the writers best kept secret is to stop dreaming about how are you feel after you finish writing the book, but that was an example (out of thousands) of how you can derail your creative life if you don’t know the secret to writing well, which I’m about to tell you. It’s actually very simple.

Feeling well is the secret to writing well.

By “feel well”, what I mean is being in a healthy relationship with yourself. And to do that, you need to rewire your brain completely and get back to the purest part of yourself that loved to write before there was a need for validation - your #wholewriter. You need to fight your way out of this idea that you must suffer for your craft before you can be happy — and if you can transform your mindset, you can and will transform everything else in your life.

Here are a couple of other reasons why this really is the only secret you need to succeed:

1) Writing is a long, long game.

It’s a game that requires energy, strength and stamina. You will experience your fair share (and sometimes MORE than your fair share) of rejection along your journey, from editors, to agents, to publishers. You will also experience a bunch of people known as “haters” in your writing career, and these range from strangers to ex-friends, to *gasp!* family members. The last thing you need on top of all that is YOU telling yourself that your work is terrible.

2) As the famous African proverb goes: “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.”

When you have that inner strength, that high self esteem and that high belief in your own worth, it’s harder for the smaller, less important things to get inside your brain and disrupt your experience.

3) When you’re fulfilled within yourself, you stop needing external validation.

I know as a writer you do a ridiculous amount of work when putting something creative together and trying to make your dreams happen, but because it is a solitary profession, there will be times where no one else will be around to see it.

There might not be anyone to acknowledge you in your proudest moments, so not only do you have to learn how to work without that kind of praise from other people, but you have to learn how to cheer yourself on in those proud moments. I hope you’ll find that making yourself proud can be just as fulfilling as when you finally put that work out into the world.

4) You will see a lot of people around you succeed, but you can’t let that phase you.

5) You will see a lot of people around you fail, but you can’t let that phase you.

6) When you love and accept yourself, you stay true to your purpose.

There are a million things that you could do that are easier than writing. Writing takes work. And so there will be a parade of tempting opportunities that will come your way that seem like the quicker, easier roads to success, but ultimately pull you away from your destiny.

Only your values and inner strength will be able to save you from the barrage of lesser activities designed to steal away time from your ultimate purpose.

7) You deserve to feel good about the work you do.

How many people do you know that write spend 90% of the time complaining and crying about it? How many people, instead of focusing on how glorious it is to be able to create in this world, and what an incredible responsibility it is to be a messenger and story crafter on this earth today, are bogged down by stresses and insecurities that not only are they imposing on themselves, but that society imposes on them, too?

If you ever feel you’re doing this to yourself try to take a step back and remember why you started in the first place, because you didn’t start writing to make yourself unhappy. You started writing to make something happen for yourself or for the world.

If you can hold on to that, no matter how long it takes, you will.

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