Do you know what is one of the most common ways writer mess up their creative mojo?
They spend way too much time daydreaming about how good they‘ll feel and what will happen after they finish writing their book.
And for sure, you will feel amazing once you finish your book or your latest project — but being laser-focused on the future tends to just drain the happiness from the present. Because here’s what happens:
The more you think about how much you want to be a best selling author and you can’t wait, the further and further away it can seem when you’re trying to get all the smaller tasks done every day. You get frustrated and overwhelmed.
Your worth becomes more and more connected to this idea of success, and that causes more harm to you than good. And this creates the biggest problem you’ll face in your writing life: not feeling good about the work anymore.
So you’re probably thinking I will say the writers best kept secret is to stop dreaming about how are you feel after you finish writing the book, but that was an example (out of thousands) of how you can derail your creative life if you don’t know the secret to writing well, which I’m about to tell you. It’s actually very simple.
Feeling well is the secret to writing well.
By “feel well”, what I mean is being in a healthy relationship with yourself. And to do that, you need to rewire your brain completely and get back to the purest part of yourself that loved to write before there was a need for validation - your #wholewriter. You need to fight your way out of this idea that you must suffer for your craft before you can be happy — and if you can transform your mindset, you can and will transform everything else in your life.
Here are a couple of other reasons why this really is the only secret you need to succeed:
1) Writing is a long, long game.
It’s a game that requires energy, strength and stamina. You will experience your fair share (and sometimes MORE than your fair share) of rejection along your journey, from editors, to agents, to publishers. You will also experience a bunch of people known as “haters” in your writing career, and these range from strangers to ex-friends, to *gasp!* family members. The last thing you need on top of all that is YOU telling yourself that your work is terrible.
2) As the famous African proverb goes: “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.”
When you have that inner strength, that high self esteem and that high belief in your own worth, it’s harder for the smaller, less important things to get inside your brain and disrupt your experience.
3) When you’re fulfilled within yourself, you stop needing external validation.
I know as a writer you do a ridiculous amount of work when putting something creative together and trying to make your dreams happen, but because it is a solitary profession, there will be times where no one else will be around to see it.
There might not be anyone to acknowledge you in your proudest moments, so not only do you have to learn how to work without that kind of praise from other people, but you have to learn how to cheer yourself on in those proud moments. I hope you’ll find that making yourself proud can be just as fulfilling as when you finally put that work out into the world.
4) You will see a lot of people around you succeed, but you can’t let that phase you.
5) You will see a lot of people around you fail, but you can’t let that phase you.
6) When you love and accept yourself, you stay true to your purpose.
There are a million things that you could do that are easier than writing. Writing takes work. And so there will be a parade of tempting opportunities that will come your way that seem like the quicker, easier roads to success, but ultimately pull you away from your destiny.
Only your values and inner strength will be able to save you from the barrage of lesser activities designed to steal away time from your ultimate purpose.
7) You deserve to feel good about the work you do.
How many people do you know that write spend 90% of the time complaining and crying about it? How many people, instead of focusing on how glorious it is to be able to create in this world, and what an incredible responsibility it is to be a messenger and story crafter on this earth today, are bogged down by stresses and insecurities that not only are they imposing on themselves, but that society imposes on them, too?
If you ever feel you’re doing this to yourself try to take a step back and remember why you started in the first place, because you didn’t start writing to make yourself unhappy. You started writing to make something happen for yourself or for the world.
If you can hold on to that, no matter how long it takes, you will.